I have to write this to tell you that if you are going through hell in your relationship, it is a part of the process and everyone goes through something like this once in a while. If your relationship is going fine, it is still wise to read this article and learn from it.

A relationship starts with a liking towards each other and an obvious attraction that is inevitable. It looks flowery and filled with the juices of life. It makes the partners feel elated and at times even leads to sleeplessness and gush of excitement. This is the first stage where there is no expectation from the other person and it’s only about enjoying together, showing each other one’s best side and discussing everything that one goes through. This is the easiest time as it doesn’t demand much. In most of the cases, both are youthful and have enough resources from the parents’ side and therefore there is not a single thought that can upset the relationship. But this is the sweetest time when nicknames are given, calling budget gets disturbed, there is a craving to be with the other person and to take the relationship further.

The second stage is when people either start living together or start taking financial responsibilities of the family. If the couple starts living with each other, they get to know each others’ bitter and unpleasing side as well. The person gets angry when irritated, there is reluctance in supporting the partner and there are habits which do not go with what the other person expects. If married, parents-in-law too have a say in the decisions of the family and at times there are clashes between the ideologies of the old parents and the daughter-in-law. At times the frustration is too much and the partners get too sick of each other. There are regular fights, arguments and conflicts over each other’s habits or way of thinking. In most of the cases, partners think they shouldn’t have come together or the other person has changed over time. However, the reality is when people come closer there are multiple personalities to explore in that one person and the one happy side that was visible earlier is found to be a small part of it that hardly shows up. In most of the cases, as divorce, judicial separation or breakup have become a commonly understandable way out, people part ways. In today’s date, couples hardly reach the third stage and thus land up in multiple relationships before they can get mature to surrender themselves to the existing relationship.

The Third stage is the stage where things start falling into place. There is acceptance of those multiple personalities that the other person has and either one of the two or both turn submissive and the relationship starts going smooth. Certain fights seem like they aren’t worth getting into. Certain things don’t bother anymore even if they bothered earlier. There are bigger goals to achieve, which can be financial, raising children or having a calm life without much disturbance. This stage comes when there is a reason that is stronger than the reason to part ways. In many cases, the reason is that the two get used to each other. There is a void in each other’s absence. Also, the partners start focusing on what is good in the other person or what least he/she has contributed towards the marriage. The negatives look like they don’t exist or have ceased to exist. The other reason that people get to this stage is the realization that the children would suffer if the couple divorce and therefore they decide to look at what’s working and not on what’s not working. This is not a compromise but a reason good enough to keep people together. This is when the couple falls in love. This acceptance and letting things be and giving one’s best makes one a better human being. This is where the true bonding starts. One cannot reach this stage intentionally but it comes with its own ease. Also, some blessed ones don’t just face the second stage and the third stage comes right after their courtship gets over.

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