It took me years to come to “It’s Ok!”

It takes years of practice to say this in almost 80% situations. The best part is that parents don’t teach it and inspire us to say the opposite, “How is it ok?” with of course a loud voice. “It’s ok” comes with a few loses in life when the mind accepts that it won’t be a victory always. The first defeat is painful, leading to rigidity and suffering and many sleepless nights but a second failure teaches one to say, “it’s ok.” A few consequent failures engrave “It’s ok” on our nerves and in our head and we lose rigidity and take a sigh of relief. Then the smart ones keep doing the effort without caring for the result as they know defeat might be waiting right after the hard work but this is when success knocks; when “It’s ok” takes over and the ultimate result doesn’t matter.

It’s ok also comes when one starts understanding that everyone is different and not everyone would be able to behave or do things a certain way. This understanding of everyone being unique also helps bring, “It’s ok” state.

Divyanshu, a student, on being scolded, stood up and answered back in a rude way. I asked him to leave and he replied, “who would want to be with you anyways.” It took me a minute to calm down but this one minute comprised of 10 years of meditation on the fact that “everyone has different mindsets and everyone has his own share of frustrations.” The next time he met me, I turned away but inside there was no anger and it was as calm as an ocean. He apologised and I accepted with almost no reaction.

It also comes from the understanding that no one out there is responsible for my pain and I could always not create that pain inside. Even when the situation is challenging, I can learn and practice to stay calm. When one stops blaming anyone outside for one’s pain, even then “It’s ok” is achieved.

“It’s ok” is a state difficult to reach but it’s one of the highest states of one’s being. Once achieved, the mind is at peace and more focussed towards what one aims at.