It was the festival of Lohri (a Punjabi festival) and this was the first time we (I, my wife and my daughter) were celebrating it away from our parents. We were supposed to perform the rituals first at home and then go downstairs to do it with other Punjabis of the society. I was glad to see how religious these people were, especially Mr Arora, the man who recited all the mantras and is known to be a very religious man in the building. It was good to find someone who understands religion and would, I was sure, be very calm and understanding and someone one could go to for advice. At least I thought this.
A few days later one morning, we realised that our door was being banged and it was the security guard who was upset and called me down to take the car out of the parking as it obstructed Mr Arora’s car. I was half awake but I rushed down to see if something had gone wrong. I saw Mr Arora shouting indirectly at me for parking my car right after his and then not waking up early to drive it out. He was shouting at the security guard for not taking care of it a lot many times before as well. He said to the security guard that if this remains the case he won’t pay the monthly maintenance. The security guard answered that he did what he could and there was nothing much that was in his hands. Mr Arora was still shouting like mads even when he knew that it was a daily thing. There is a limited parking space and someone or the other has to get stuck and wait for someone else to come down and remove his car. It cannot really be helped.
After this incident this man, Mr Arora, who owned a huge sedan, had a beautifully furnished flat and who was highly religious, was found shouting at many people again and again. I got to know that it is in his nature to behave this way.
There was another woman I met, Mrs Sharma. She was just my mother’s age and was strongly religious. She would devote 2 to 3 hours to her daily prayers and fasted almost every alternate day. I knew her to be calm headed and very loving. She got her daughter married and there was some trouble there. There was a quarrel at her daughter’s (Mira’s) place and she decided to pay a visit to them. No wonder, she did what Mr Arora did. She created a scene, shouted at her daughter’s in-laws and came back. Later on, it was found that the quarrel in their house aroused from the way Mrs Sharma would talk to Mira about her husband (Dheeraj) and the way Mrs Sharma complained about how Dheeraj was not very supportive towards Mira’s brother. Mrs Sharma had been doing it for quite some time and unknowingly the bond between Mira and Dheeraj had weakened. Mrs Sharma once shouted at Mira for being late for Mrs Sharma’s birthday party and it sparked a fight between Mira and Dheeraj. She told Mira how Dheeraj answered back to Mira’s father over some discussion and Mira kept it inside and distanced herself from Dheeraj. What was Mrs Sharma up to? Did Mrs Sharma want her daughter’s home to break?
Another female, who did everything to disturb her family by abusing her sister-in-law, hitting her mother-in-law, abusing and insulting her husband and being rowdy and ill-mannered is a great follower of a self-proclaimed guru and her WhatsApp images include how God gives her peace and how guruji showers her blessings on her.
What is the purpose of being religious if this is what rests within? If the person hasn’t learned to calm oneself or lead one’s life in a proper and decent way, what role has religion played? If one remains insecure to shout at people or get offended over trivial issues which do not even require attention what is the role of religion then?
I have seen some religious men who get hurt over every little thing and would fight back, retaliate, make faces or have no solution to their inner conflict. I have seen others who are into fighting with people and disturbing the society and still praying at least twice a day. If that is being religious I would proudly say, I am not religious. I am spiritual and spirituality gives me solutions to all these inner conflicts and teaches me to stay calm in most of the cases.