There are people who are sure of what they do and the results it would create. But am I always correct? Or am I obsessed and too scared to accept that I am wrong and my logic ditched me?
I was once interacting with a Riksha Puller and he was quite sure of applying a Zero (0) before every number he dialled from his mobile phone. I told him that it’s not needed when you are dialing a local number but he said “Sahab, nahi milta iske bina number. Hum jaante hain, roz milaate hain.” He did not want to explore ahead of what he thought. He could have tried to understand that why is it that he isn’t able to dial without a zero but he was adamant about what he thought. Another man I met today was too sure that he won’t send his child to a university governed by a religion different from his. I tried convincing him that they don’t promote their religion there and it is one of the finest universities in Delhi but he said he knew how would the university be. Another case of being adamant. The third example is from my own family when my daughter was getting a fever at regular intervals and I was sure that the moment the effect of paracetamol gets over, she would have the fever again, at least till the time the infection subsided. My wife was adamant that I should sleep and Misha (my daughter) won’t have the fever again. It was exactly at 3.00 am, I checked her fever to be at 100 Fahrenheit and the temperature could have risen had she not been given Crocin. I had to face a lot of friction from her to stay awake and disturb our daughter by putting the thermometer again and again under her arm.
Let’s explore what makes people adamant. One of the reasons is the greed factor. To attain the desired result, even if it isn’t correct, people get adamant. For example, a man on the way to the railway station insisted that the best way to reach the place is the way other than the usual route. The cab driver tried explaining but he was too stubborn to change. The driver agreed to the passenger and faced a lot more traffic than the usual route. The man stopped the cab to buy a whiskey for himself and the driver realized that there was no such shop on the other way. The reason to take the unusual route was to buy alcohol. In the third example above, it was a matter of sleep that my wife sought. She felt disturbed on being woken again and again as Misha was too young to be handled alone by her father. Seeking Gain, profit and short-term benefits can often lead to adamancy.
Another reason is when one fears losing one’s control over the situation. There are people who love to throw their weight around. They can’t agree with someone if they disagree with it even once. I had a manager, a woman who seemed to have an obsessive-compulsive disorder. She would not allow stuff she did not agree with and if someone had a point to make, she would hardly listen to what went against her decision. Namrata (the manager) wanted the trainers to be inside the classroom even when there was some task to be done by the students. The teachers tried explaining to her that there are student reports to be made every day which cannot be completed if the teacher doesn’t step out when the student is doing some work allotted to him. She would not agree to it and many reports remained incomplete. She did not allow the team members to talk as she felt it would affect their productivity and the team worked like robots and felt demotivated. She wouldn’t allow anyone using her official laptop, even if it meant a huge loss to the organization. Rigidity is a trait of insecure people like Namrata, who don’t want to lose their control over others. Insecurity can be due to several reasons. One of the reasons is being suppressed at a young age and one isn’t allowed to speak or contribute one’s ideas to some important decisions being made around. It can also arise from an inferiority complex one has had.
The third reason can be a lack of knowledge and thus using one’s limited reserves of knowledge. If the mind isn’t experienced and the person isn’t even well read, there are chances that he would stick to what he says and another possibility doesn’t exist in his head. For a possibility to exist, one has to know what possibilities can be like. The Riksha Puller I talked about didn’t know about other possibilities. The shopkeeper, who wanted to stay away from the university I suggested, hadn’t seen such good universities where religion takes a back seat. He is limited to where he stays and doesn’t know what other possibilities can be like. The teacher who is adamant about using only one way of solving a question isn’t aware of the other method and that is why he is adamant.
If there is any of these reasons or any other reason that you feel is prevalent within you to be too rigid or inflexible, it’s time to think of the plethora of possibilities beyond your own set dimensions. Being unshakable too often isn’t something that will make people welcome you. In fact, you will find yourself alone at a place where there would be a lack of opportunities and possibilities.