I read this news where a child murdered his mother, who would scold him bad over his poor academic performance.
Dumb people would be blaming the poor child who had to stoop down to such levels. Let’s start by understanding that how do studies help children and why do people need to study?
- Studies help the child have a better understanding of the language he reads.
- Studies make the child learn new things which can be helpful to understand situations better. For example, a bit from geography helps the child understand that it is the Aravali range that he/she sees in Jaipur. A little bit of courage can be drawn from the kings of a nation’s history.
- Studies help one earn one’s living.
- Studies do not make anyone superior or inferior.
- Comparing one’s child, with someone who is better than him, is a mental torture parents inflict.
- Forcing studies on one’s child’s head can make him get into depression.
- It’s not only toppers who earn wonderfully. If the child is emotionally sound, he/she can earn even without getting a very high percentage.
While counselling my students (in college) and children who aren’t performing well in their school or college curriculum, I come across many who have been in a state of depression since they were in school. Depression is a state of being upset, feeling numb or deeply sad within for a really long time. Depression, unlike a bad mood, doesn’t subside that easily.
Why?
Many students find it difficult to study when they are answerable to their parents about their scores. A lot of students don’t even understand what they study and their mind isn’t good at absorbing the academic stuff the way many others can. Parents are scared of their children lagging behind and not getting a good job or having a bright future. The fear leads parents to force the child into books. They are made to sit for hours, beaten, abused or compared with others.
So?
A lot of students decide to commit suicide than facing their parents’ wrath. Others, out of the mental torture, murder their parents like this 16 years boy did. He finally killed his mother once after he had been mentally stabbed and killed several times in his own house, over a bad score.
What to do?
Let studies be a part of their life and let it not take over them. If a child doesn’t score well, he would still have a decent job and a decent package if he remains mentally fit and isn’t tortured. The children can be taught to deal with people and handle circumstances. They can be put into vocational courses where they don’t study much and learn a skill to help them grow in life. Studies help one do better, but they aren’t as important as a child’s mental fitness.
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