Most of the people confuse Low self-esteem with self-respect. Low self-esteem is developed due to several reasons. Here are a few of them:
- Not getting to speak much. Whenever as a child one tried to speak one was asked to shut up.
- When as a child one is disrespected in some form. For ex., a dark complexioned girl was called Kallo (slang for dark) out of fun, not only by her brother but also by her own mother. Mother herself was a serious case of Degenerated Self Esteem.
- When a child is ridiculed in public and made to feel inferior in front of others. It might be just one incident or many in progression of one after the other.
- When one is told again and again about his/her mistakes without telling him/her that it can be resolved a certain way. Most parents hardly have a way out of their children’s mistakes and end up being their child’s first bully in the world.
The nature of people with Low self-esteem is as follows:
- Aggression: They are generally short-tempered and loud. They can confront, argue, cry or shout over losing a point they wanted to make, even if the listener knows it isn’t valid.
- Looking for constant public approval: They live to impress. They have been told that if they don’t prove themselves to be good before others, they might lose it all. A single bad impression they create can bother them to the limits of depression.
- Getting hurt on what someone says even at times when no direct reference to them has been made. They end up taking the burden of someone’s view on their nerves and remain in the state until they end up hurting the other in a similar fashion or making him realise that hurt is really bad.
- Dominating: They want to dominate the world as a panacea to the fear of dominance and hatred they nurture within. Don’t show them the mirror or else they would dance on your head.
- Lying to save the day: The worst you can get is a bunch of lies on things that you tell they did wrong. They lack the ability to improve as their mind is all clogged with the idea of “I didn’t do anything (a fear inculcated in their childhood).” The defence mechanism of these people works really strong and they can put all their blame on you even if you were light years away from them when the problem occurred. They are weak creatures who can’t afford the burden of blame.
- Pretending to be strong and socially backed: They have to tell the world that they know the strongest of identities in the society, people are scared of them and if they end up beating people or killing them, it won’t really disturb their lives as they know the best ones to handle it all.
- Hyperactive: their minds don’t rest. Sitting idle or without people around or a constant movement can cause them a bad mood or mood swings.
- They are unable to remember what good you did to them as a few recent conflicts would jolt them ending years of effort you had put to support them.