Before getting into a relation, lets understand how it should ideally begin and what mistakes do people commit while choosing a partner for life.

1. Making a choice when one is Vibrationally high: You need to be in a positive state of mind to reach people who are in a similar positive state. Getting attached to someone in your low times can often lead to unexpected consequences. In a lower energy state, one meets a low vibrational partner. As one’s vibration rises, he/she starts feeling ecstatic and fulfilled, while the other remains the same, a low vibrational person. The one who reaches his positive state, finds another set of positive and cheerful people. This is when the lower energy partner starts nagging, criticizing, demanding and even being overly possessive. The relations break when one is vibrationally high and the other is permanently a low vibrational being.

Many people aren’t active while making this important choice of life. They are either too occupied with their past or are too focussed on the future. Those who master the art of being in the moment and being conscious of  their thoughts, know what their soul requires and make a wise choice. Also, a desperation, or  a need to be accepted or loved, can sometimes make someone trip over and fall at the wrong place.

If one has made a choice which is now inflicting pain, there shouldn’t be any reason to continue in that relation. A need of acceptance can at times make people continue in abusive relationships. One must know that there isn’t a relation more important than the relation one has with himself. It’s only after you do justice to yourself, you fulfill your partner too. So be present while making the choice.

2. We are more than biology now: Biology or nature brings us together at times. The need to reproduce, creates an attraction, which many people aren’t aware of. Unaware people fail to understand that many other aspects of life, like time, career, ways of enjoyment, a feeling of growth, etc. are all managed while being in love or having a relationship. Until there is a compatibility in these aspects, there isn’t a way that a relation can remain fresh forever. It’s after a year or two that we realise conflicts over every small thing. So it’s better to first see how can two people be compatible with their time, career, plans of growth and other facets of life.

Attraction is fine with animals when the roles and duties  are well defined and they have been following their biological instincts for centuries. For ex- a lioness would hunt and feed the Lion and the cubs. When there is a scarcity of food, the lioness won’t share anything and the lion would hunt for himself. In animals, there isn’t an evolution of mind, feelings and an addition of new aspects like growth, career or being wealthy and owning a luxury car or even being independent. The human behavior differs from one person to another, unlike animals who follow a common pattern or an anticipated way of life.

3. Setting Priorities: Before committing anything or deciding a future together, the best is to understand the other person’s priorities, and laying your priorities before the other. It’s life’s biggest and most beautiful partnership that requires some prework before you set the ball rolling. It’s best to decide on what the other person expects from a relationship and what is it that you desire from it . It gives a sense of direction to your relation and works as a compass to enlighten the path. It also makes it easier for both to retain the relation even in the hardest of times when the situations outside aren’t favorable.

Don’t say Yes if there is something major you cannot relate to or find unacceptable in the other person’s set of priorities.

If the other person isn’t certain about the kind of life he/she desires, or there is some sought of confusion he/she carries for now, the best is to move away or give the person a little time to decide about his/her life first. An unclear mind lacks a sense of direction. Also the one who hasn’t decided the path of life, can be unsure, of having you there and your exact position in  his blueprint of life.

4. You can’t change anyone: You are bringing another being who was born in a different family and in a different bunch of people. Don’t think that you can make someone behave as per you. That’s why we have talked about the points above. I have seen people who think that a few changes will set everything right, and with that expectation they get into a relationship or marry. It  can cause an ultimate disaster if you intend to change someone. WIllingness to control or change makes you dependent on people to behave in a certain way for you to be happy.  Being unconditional is for one’s own peace of mind and independence. If you think there are certain things which are important for you and the other person doesn’t possess them, forget that you can change anything. Either accept the the way he/she is or let go and look for the one whom you do not wish to change at all. You can always find people with the qualities you desire in your ideal partner.

5. Rely on your Intuition: Even after being in the moment, thinking wisely, setting priorities, the best is to question your soul if he or she is the one for you? Remain detached and do not carry any obsession or attachment with the person. Float the question to your self for several days or a month and let the answer come up. Rely on omens and see how universe signals you. Beware, your attraction towards the person is not a signal. The signals come only when you are detached from the outcome and do not try to mould it as per you. It’s only when you are fulfilled, with and without that person, and you keep the question floating in your field of energy, to finally feel one day if he/she is the one or not.